Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Oh life... is bigger... It's bigger than you (R.E.M.)
I think I need to slow down when the rest of the world wants me to move faster.
My husband and I live fairly well, and on our main incomes, we make enough to pay all of the bills, but to give ourselves extra for fun, we work harder and longer.
I work 37 hours a week at my day job, then I go home to work on Freelance work pretty much from the time I get home to the time I go to bed. I have acquired quite a few clients to keep me busy at home over the years, and sometimes, it can truly be overwhelming. It can get to the point where I just totally lose interest in doing it at all despite the money that it brings in.
My husband is fine with me letting some of the work go so that I can just relax when I get home, but with my current job situation, it’s not really beneficial that I do so. Once I stop doing the work for my clients, they’ll go elsewhere and if this job doesn’t pan out, then it would be good to have them to fall back on.
That being said, I guess I just really need to “hang tight” until November, and if they renew my contract, I can re-evaluate the side-work that I’m doing, and maybe just unwind.
I work hard, I really do, and I think I need and deserve the break, even if that means losing the clients in November. I can’t see myself working this hard for the rest of my working life. If I kept this up, then when I have kids, I’d never have any fun with them because I’d be too busy, and I’d be grouchy all the time and that is just not what I want the future to be.
I just wish I could land my main career/main job so I didn’t have to worry about all of this. Or maybe I’m just worrying too much about everything and I should seek counselling.
Who knew life would still remain so confusing heading in to 30?
Posted by Ya Never Know at 7:57 AM