Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My Douchey Brother

Last night, our furnace broke.

Let me preface this by saying that financially, this is not an issue, DH and I have the money to pay for what we have.

I do work for my brother from time to time, and on January 26th, I sent him an invoice for the work that I did. March 17th, I emailed him asking if he could just let me know when the invoice would be paid out. He did not respond to the email. He's either ignored or deflected any other attempts I've made at trying to get him to respond (which is hard to do since I never see him, or when I do see him, it's at a family function where talking about business is inappropriate). Also, he never answers his phone, and he screens all his calls.

So yesterday, after my furnace broke, I was pissed that we'd have to dig in to our savings to fix it, especially when my brother owes me money that I've been chasing after for months. I emailed my brother again asking him when I can expect the invoice because it has been well over 60 days and told him that we could use the extra cash at the moment because we have a furnace to fix.

Though I agree that I shouldn't have mentioned the furnace, I was just pissed about it... he completely stepped out of line for no reason. He basically said "Why the fuck would I give a shit about your furnace?" Then he told me to grow up, and live within my means so that I can afford shit like this. Then he said that I should go cry to mom and dad to bail me out of my situation.

Ummmm.... this is all completely out of left field. I don't ask my parents for anything, and I haven't since I was in college well over 6 years ago. My parents are retired, and I'm well aware that they can't afford to "bail" me out of anything, so I wouldn't ask them to. My brother knows absolutely nothing about my situation in any respect, and certainly not financially, so for him to come up with that is very literally out of nowhere.

I emailed him and told him he was out of line, and that he had no idea what he was talking about. I also told him that the bottom line to all of this was that I have an invoice that is unpaid, and I have been patient, and he needs to pay his freakin' bills before he talks to me about "going beyond my means".

I have the succinct feeling that he's already spent the money that he owes me, and now he's pissed because he has to come up with the cash to pay me.

We went back and forth with hurtful emails for a while (or rather, he did) and I've come to the conclusion that he is working with some repressed ill feelings that he has about his life, and for some reason, out of nowhere I have become his outlet for that.

I thought about it last night, and the more I think, the more I start to see that he is angry about how his life has turned out. His last email to me was him telling me about all the problems that he has, and all the medications that he's on because of his depression, and basically how shitty his life is (which again, has nothing to do with the invoice he hasn't paid). He's trying to make me feel guilty for asking for it.

I felt like telling him that his life is shitty because of the choices that he made. He had the same opportunities growing up that I did, but he made certain choices in his life that he has now come to regret, and it's eating him alive.

I can be a compassionate person, and I feel sorry for him that he has to deal with that, but one thing has nothing to do with the other. I felt like telling him that maybe he is the one that needs to grow up and and deal with the situation that he put himself in.

I am so mad at him right now. I know that everything he emailed me last night had nothing to do with the invoice I asked him for. The comments he made showed nothing but anger and jealousy on his part. The only thing that I can relate his "crying to mom and dad" statement to is the fact that I lived at home when I was in college. I paid for my own schooling, but he feels that I have it easy, and that I always have.... but he won't take responsibility for the choices that he made in his life that have contributed to where he is now. He could have had things just as easy, but he chose not to whether he wants to admit to that or not.

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