A Little Dose of Reality

I'm fat.

I don't like to have to admit this to myself, but this is the reality of my situation.

Before this weekend, I thought I was chunky... and most people would probably still think this, but after my cousin's wedding, and seeing pictures of myself, I can no longer classify myself as chunky.

My arms are big, my legs are big, my waist is big, my ass is big, and in a profile of myself, I'm starting to have a double chin.

I have used every excuse in the book to justify to myself all the reasons for my weight gain, and among the most popular are: TTC, PCOS, not enough time for exercise, too tired to exercise, fear of exercising in 2ww.... This list can go on and on.

THESE ARE NOT VALID EXCUSES FOR WEIGHT GAIN.

So now that I've got that out of the way, it's time to get back in to shape. If I'm going to have a baby, then it's going to happen whenever the heck it does, but in the meantime, I'm done with letting myself go.

On Sunday, I ran 4.5kms. On Monday, I ran 5kms. My legs hurt, my arms hurt, my back hurts and my ass hurts, but you know what? It feels good.

I am going to keep running. I have a 5km loop that I've plotted out around where I live, and there's no excuse as to why I can't do this every day rain or shine. When I'm pregnant, I am not going to stop exercising. Running may be more difficult, but I also have a bike.. there is no excuse for not exercising anymore. The excuses are over.

I have yet to get my eating habits under control, but I'm on it. DH and I are gutting the fridge, and all the shelves to take out all bad food. Then we are buying groceries, choosing only healthy choices. I am going to use sparkpeople to track my eating, because it serves as a good visual and it does help me to stay in range of calories.

I need to get rid of this weight. I need to change my lifestyle once and for all. I'm not 20, I'm 30... and I can't do the same things I did when I was 20. This reality has set in, and I need to kick my bad habits now.

I am not going to "try" to do these things. I am going to do them.

Do, or do not.... there is no try.