Pregnancy... such a strange little thing. :)

I'm 9 weeks, 4 days along today. I was a little worried earlier this week when all of my symptoms suddenly disappeared, but no worries, they came back full force yesterday. LOL

Pregnancy is strange. There are some days that I feel like I'm not pregnant at all, but I am so thankful for bad m/s days like yesterday that remind me that baby is still there. Getting sick isn't fun, but it truly does help me feel more secure that things are progressing as they should.

I read about a lot of ladies getting a home doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat. I thought that might be a good idea to keep me sane, until I saw the price they wanted for one in Canada. Hmm... I think I'll pass. :) I  have another ultrasound at 11 weeks-ish, and I figure if everything's okay at that appointment, I'll be so close to 2nd tri that I will feel confident that this is the real thing. :)

Only 17 more days until I get to see baby again!! And... possibly actually *hear* a heartbeat this time (instead of just seeing it on the ultrasound screen). :)

Family woes

Without making this in to a really long story.. basically over the past couple of years, my brother and his wife (and consequently my 10 year old niece) have been showing up to less and less family events, and nobody has had any idea of why.

I barely talk to my brother as it is, and when I told him I was pregnant, it seemed as though he could care less.... It's not like I expect him to jump up and down, but his congratulations was really half-assed through email... but, being the sometimes understanding person I can be, I let it go.

Well, about 2 weeks ago, we went out for supper with my parents and when we got back to their place, my brother was sitting in his car outside their house. He saw us all, and my mom went up to him to kind of wave at him and say "We'll see you inside" (he was on the phone), so we all went in thinking he'd stop in and say hi. Well, 5 mins later, we look out the window, and he's gone! I haven't seen him in literally MONTHS, and he can't even come in just to say a quick hello? Seriously... he could have just come in and said "I'm on my way to do whatever, but just wanted to say hi..."

Anyway.... as I do with most things, I brushed it off.... Then the Sunday before last was my brother's b-day. He invited my parents, and some other people over for cake.... but he didn't invite me or my DH.

I'm not really upset that I haven't been invited to things, I'm more upset that my parents have the same kinds of stories where my brother just doesn't show up for anything anymore! At my cousin's bridal shower on Sunday, my aunt (her mother) informs us that no one from my brother's family is showing up at the wedding! From my point of view, that's pretty shitty of my brother, considering that this particular aunt and cousin were there for my brother when he was broke, and young with a brand new baby.. that they babysat FOR FREE.

Anyway.. I got fed up yesterday and emailed him a WTF email. He called me last night, and we talked things through and basically what all this distance stems from, is apparently my brother's wife has a problem with my mother.

My mom knows that SIL has a problem with her, she just has no idea what the problem is. My brother was basically just saying that he's not getting in the middle of it, though I'm trying to tell him that mom literally has no idea what she did to SIL to piss her off so much that she'd completely abandon coming to anything that my mother will be at. I told him that maybe if SIL has a problem, she should actually tell my mom what the problem is so that they can fix it... but my brother doesn't want to go there.

Well, frig that. I barely see my brother, SIL, or even my niece, and really the only time I do see them is at family functions, which they no longer come to... So if my brother's not going to let my mom in on what the issue is, then I am. I'm not going to spent the next countless years of our lives letting something that can probably be solved in a conversation be the culprit.

So basically, I'm going to tell my mom that I don't know any detail of why Angie has a problem with her (and truthfully, I have no idea), but that if this is going to be resolved, then one of them is going to have to be the bigger person and start the conversation.

I personally think that my brother's wife is being ridiculous. I know my mother, and I can almost guarantee that if SIL just told my mom what the problem was, my mother would probably apologize for whatever offence is the issue... they'd make up, and this whole ordeal would be over.

It's just so stupid. I don't really want to get in the middle of things either, but come on... somebody has to say something.

9 Weeks and 1 Day! :)

I'm extremely excited to be 9 weeks and a day pregnant! :)

I have my first appointment with the new OB on August 15th. My RE referred me to him, so hopefully he's a nice guy. I'm happy to have finally graduated from my RE, who DH and I really didn't care for. I mean.... we give him some proper recognition for getting me pregnant, but he's always just such a robot...

Last week, I ordered some maternity pants online from Motherhood maternity (http://www.motherhoodcanada.ca/), and they came in the mail yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised to try them on and have them both fit perfectly! I thought I'd ordered them too small. The measurements that they posted on their website were 100% accurate. The pants are also extremely comfy. I'm not exactly showing yet, but I'm liking maternity pants just because they don't put so much pressure on my belly. :)

Here's what I ordered from Motherhood (they have really awesome prices):

 $26.99 (on sale)

 $29.99 (on sale)

I've been progressively having more pregnancy symptoms. They have been mostly nausea and exhaustion, and the occasional dizzy spell. I was dizzy from weeks 4-7, then at week 7, full on nausea and exhaustion kicked in. Yesterday at 9 weeks, I had no symptoms of any kind, which was a nice break, and this morning I'm not feeling as good as yesterday, but still feeling pretty good overall. If the exhaustion could stay away this week, that would be awesome because we're SO close to having all the floors finished at home, with new furniture coming hopefully this weekend or next! :)

Other than that, there's not much to report. I apologize that this post is kind of randomly scattered thoughts. That's sort of just how my mind is today. :)

Reality

I am 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant.

Before I became pregnant, I had held off on buying any new clothes (particularly pants), because I was working on losing weight to fit back in to my pants instead of buying new ones (and just starting to succeed at it too!). Well... now that plan has kind of backfired on me, because between bloat, and my uterus being swollen to the size of a grapefruit, I can hardly pull any of my pants on, and when I do have them on, they're so tight that I just feel like a horse.

I feel silly buying maternity clothing because at 8 weeks 4 days, I just feel weird about it.... but I've already gained 5lbs, and there's not much point to buying regular pants since I will likely need maternity clothes in a few weeks.

So, yesterday, I decided... to hell with it. I bought two cheapo pairs of mat pants online, and one pair in a store yesterday. I didn't feel good shopping though, since I had to admit to myself that I'm not a large... but an XL. :( I'm tall... so even at my ideal weight, I'm a large... and I'm fine with that, but moving up to XL really made me feel like I wished that I'd worked harder at losing the weight before baby.

That being said, I know that weight gain is a part of pregnancy, and I'm not complaining about that, just a little disappointed that I had all this time before I got pregnant to lose the weight, and I didn't push myself hard enough.

Anyway.. As silly as I feel that I'm sitting here in mat pants which is pretty much serving the purpose of making things more comfortable while I sit here with all my fat... I am actually comfortable, and appreciate not having the constriction of 'too tight' pants around my belly.

One thing that shopping for pants has done for me though, is made me realize that I need to eat healthier meals. I need to eat more because of baby... but it should be more healthy stuff.... not more hamburger... Ugh.

Baby R!!

I can't stop staring at this photo. The ultrasound tech gave me two, but this one is the best. I can make out baby's little face, and pudgy little belly and legs. I am so in love. :)

Great Ultrasound!

I am so so so happy and relieved after today's appointment.

Our little one was measuring right on track, the band was GONE, his/her little heart was beating away at 190bpm, and we even saw the baby moving, nodding his/her little head! :)

We graduated from the RE today, so I'll get a new OB soon! I have some pictures to post, I just need to get home to my scanner! :)

A little nervous..

I have another ultrasound tomorrow at what should be approximately 8 weeks pregnant. This is a follow up to the ultrasound that I had 2 weeks ago, where we saw some kind of band in the uterus. It looked to be outside of the amnion, which would be a good thing, but we should have a better idea of what we were looking at this week (especially if it's gone).

I've been continually spotting, quite a bit even today. I try not to worry every time I see spotting, but it's hard.

Hopefully tomorrow's u/s will make me feel a lot better about it.

Pregnancy hormon-o-mania!

I'm fairly certain that this is what I looked like when I got to work this morning.

I had a rough night last night. There were bad storms that kept coming through, and I'm a big scaredy cat of storms. At 1 a.m., I was pacing around my house trying to wait out the lightning that was flooding my house with constant light! I didn't get to bed until about 4 a.m., at which point morning sickness decided to come in and kick my tired arse some more. Had to get up at 5:30 to go to work...

So, I guess needless to say, that today, I'm a nauseated angry mess today... Then to top it off, I get to work to file a travel claim and the system is pissing me off.

I should probably put a sign on my back that says "Steer clear of crazy pregnant woman today".

Spotting spotting spotting. Out damned spot!!!

Every single freakin' week of this pregnancy I've spotted, and today is no different. The spotting occurs at least 3 out of 7 days.

I'm sure everything's fine with the baby, as the spotting is light, and never red or anything like that, but I really wish that it would just go away.

I would give my left arm for a completely normal non-eventful pregnancy right about now.

Barf!

Sorry I haven't written in a bit. There's not much to report yet, and I've been dead tired! Up until the last couple of days, I still had no morning sickness, just really tired.

Yesterday morning, and this morning though...... and I mean eaaarly morning 1 a.m. - 3 a.m., morning sickness has crept in and refuses to let me sleep. I spent all last night on the verge of being sick with my head hanging over the toilet bowl. Luckily, I had anti-nausea pills on me, and though they take 4 hours to work, they finally kicked in at around 4 a.m., which gave me just an hour and a half of sleep before I had  to get up for work.

I'm a zombie today... but the drugs are working now (thank goodness). Here's to hoping I can eat/keep down my lunch!

LOL

Meet our little lovebug. :)

This is our little love bug. :)

The doctor thinks I'm between 5.5-6 weeks, I disagree due to my charting, and believe that I am 6 weeks and 2 days along. :) Either way, today we got to see our little bug, and a heartbeat beating along at 118bpm.

There was only one thing about this ultrasound that has me a little worried, and it's that there was some weird band below the baby. I have to go back in 2 weeks time to check on the little guy again, so we can get a better idea of what this band is.

I've done some research, and found that there are two kinds of bands that can occur. One is really bad, and the other one is completely benign.

Looking at ultrasounds that looked like what we saw, I believe that the band in our case is the benign kind. It's called an amniotic sheet, and basically, it's a fold in the amniotic sac. These types of folds hold no real threat for the baby, and often just end up getting pushed aside as the baby gets bigger. They happen in every 1/200 pregnancies. They can pose a risk of early labour, or the baby being breech, but this is way better than the alternative type of band.

The other type of band, which I'm certain mine didn't look like, shows up as more of a crosshair that floats inside the amniotic sac. The risks that come with this type of band are severe deformities, cleft palates, loss of limbs, and some other really severe abnomalities. Basically what happens with these bands is that they wrap around the baby, cutting off circulation and not allowing limbs and such to grow properly. This type of band is extremely rare, and only occurs in about 1/1200 pregnancies.

My doctor didn't seem too concerned about the band/fold we saw and said that by next ultrasound it will probably even be gone. It wasn't floating, it was below the baby, and it definitely looked more like a structure than a crosshair, so I think we're good.

Normally, I'd say Dr. Google is not my friend, but in this case, it did help to ease my concern since I could compare what I saw. Hopefully my own Dr. will agree when I go back on the 20th.

All scariness aside, it was a good ultrasound, the baby was where it was supposed to be, and things are trucking along. :)

DH was so ecstatic about the baby that he kissed the ultrasound picture. I reminded him that in doing so, he was also kissing a picture of my uterus... LOL He laughed, since we both have a strange sense of humour. :) 

Just have to sleep tonight!!!!

But it's going to be hard! My 6 week ultrasound is tomorrow and I am anxious to meet our baby! It's so cute that DH is so excited too. We were talking about it at dinner and he had such a huge grin on his face thinking about how he was going to announce our pregnancy. He doesn't want to wait to announce it, and most of our friends know about it now anyway, so we're thinking we're just going to do it. Our mentality is that I am pregnant... if something goes wrong, then that's god's will and there's nothing we can do about that.. but at this very moment, I am pregnant, and we want to CELEBRATE!!!!!!

I pray pray PRAY that tomorrow's ultrasound is exactly what we want to see!!

Why we should never take life for granted...

I just learned today that a co-worker and friend that I used to work with a couple of years ago passed away last week. He was riding his bicycle to work and his heart just stopped. This is a complete shock to me. He was only 40 years old.

The last email I received from him, he had told me how he had spent the last year getting in shape. I saw him a few months ago, and he looked so healthy and full of life.

This news is devastating. I can't imagine how his wife is handling all of this.

I guess we just never know when our time will be up and all we can do is live each day grateful for its challenges and look forward to what each new day will bring.

R.I.P. Jason. You were amazing, and you will be missed.

Great weekend!

First off, I apologize... My blog has issues. I've been trying to find a template I like because I don't feel like making one, and I seriously just can't find one that works for me... and this template, for some reason removes the blogger toolbar at the top, and I can't put it back on.. so frustrating! I will find or make a template that works soon... I PROMISE.

Canada Day was on Friday, and it's been a beautiful weekend full of sunshine, family, and sleep.... lots of sleep. LOL

I'm still feeling ridiculously dizzy, but I find it's only really bad when I'm tired, which at this point is ALL THE TIME. :) My boobs hurt like hell this week too! I'm actually happy to have these symptoms though, as I'm actually 'feeling' pregnant. :)

This week, I'm only working 2 days! I took off the 6th to the 11th. On the 6th, I have another ultrasound, where hopefully DH and I will finally get to see the baby in the gestational sac (last week we only saw the sac). I can't wait to see this little bean!!!! We're going to celebrate after we see the baby :) Then I'm going to relax for a couple days before we leave to go camping on the 8th. :)

To all my american blog readers, I hope that you are having an awesome 4th of July weekend!!