Thursday, March 31, 2011

How TTC Changes You

When we went to shop around for a new car, my husband and I had both agreed on the Hyundai Elantra 2011 Sedan. Walking in to the dealership, it was fully our plan to get this new, sporty Sedan, we weren't thinking of a family car, but just a replacement for what we had.

Actually standing in the dealership though, with me and my husband lodged in between the Sedan and Hyundai Elantra Touring crossover vehicle, something in the back of my head was SCREAMING "Take the touring! It has more space for the kids, and a back space for the dog!"

I knew my husband loved the sedan, but he's amazing, and he listened to me making valid points about the Touring. After we found out they had a sport version of the Touring, my husband was on board, and that is the vehicle we chose. We could both picture children and the dog in the back of that car.

I know that probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is huge. Somewhere, along the way, my husband and I stopped thinking about what *we* wanted out of the car, and started thinking about what would be best for our future family.

As crappy as infertility is, sometimes I can't help but agree that everything happens for a reason. If we would have actually had a child two and some odd years ago, I don't think that we both would have been as prepared as we are now. Mentally, physically, financially, we have been making the small changes that will contribute to the well-being of our children, and we've stopped thinking about our lives as just ours, and started thinking about the future of what our lives are to become.

Earlier on in the process of trying to conceive, I would get nervous every time I tested to see if I was pregnant. With every cycle, and every disappointment, I would get less and less nervous, and more and more anxious to see a second line.

Today, I am nothing more than purely excited to have a child. I can't wait until the day I get two lines. I of course, like anyone dealing with infertility, am afraid that I may never get the experience, but I'm also optimistic that at some point, at the right time, we are going to get our baby one way or another, and it is going to be wonderful.

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