Sunday, June 5, 2011

My Mother

My mother's answer to infertility always seems to be to avoid it. Whenever I have ever talked to my mother about having children, she always tells me some reason of why she wishes she'd waited until she was at least 35 to have kids..... Hint hint?

Well, 35 is not the age that I want a child at. So what? If I don't decide to wait until 35 then I can't receive any kind of emotional support from my mom?

Okay, I shouldn't say that. I did get a one-liner when I told my mother that I had PCOS, was having trouble getting pregnant and that 3 rounds of clomid so far have not work. She said: "Your time will come. Don't worry. Enjoy your freedom while you have it."

Ugh. I swear, if I never had children, my mother would dance around in circles. It's bad enough that she wishes she'd waited until she was 35 to have kids, which means that my brother and I would likely never have existed... gee... thanks mom.

I don't know if it's just infertility that makes me sensitive to the types of comments that she makes, but sometimes it would be nice to just shake her and ask her wtf her problem is. Maybe you don't want me to have kids, because you didn't want them... BUT I DO.. and therefore, as my mother, it would be really nice if you could be there for me in any real way.

On the other hand, DH's mother can't wait for us to have kids. She's always asking about how we're doing, and she never gives me the generic "it will happen when it happens" kind of thing. I guess I just feel sad that it's more fun to talk to DH's mom about my future kids, and my own mother could care less.

I'm sure I'm being over dramatic, and I'm sure my mother would be super happy for me if I told her I was pregnant... but I don't need her then, I need her now.

No comments:

Post a Comment